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First day of nursing school.

Today has pretty much been the most overwhelming day of my entire life. The first day of class was exhilarating and the thought of being so close to actually being able to care for patients and help people practically takes my breath away with excitement. But it was absolutely terrifying.

I am already about 400 pages (literally, no exaggeration) behind in reading because I was away on vacation. I have lab assignments due over the next few days and I haven't even taken all my books out of the shrink wrap yet. And everything else that is planned for us for the rest of the semester. The NCLEX prep and the pharmacology questions and the presentations and all of this from our first day! Just looking at the syllabus made me want to run screaming from the classroom. By midday I wasn't sure which I wanted to do more: throw up or start sobbing hysterically.

All of my instructors seem really nice, and like they're really there to help us become the best nurses we can be. I'm very grateful for that, but I still don't trust that I will be able to make it through this program. I am shocked there are other students in my class still trying to work. I am doubting every other commitment I've made so far... from Delta Sigma Pi to circus to working out to just being a good girlfriend, friend, and daughter! There are single parents in my class and I don't know how one is expected to be a functional human being and stay on top of all the work that's expected of us.

So I guess, if I am strong enough to make it through this week without falling apart at the seams, I just want this to serve as a preemptive apology for the next 12 months. I'm probably going to be a horrible friend and person, so I'm sorry. But I'll try. If I fail, well, I guess I'll see you after I pass the NCLEX... if I can make it that far.

I'm going to use this picture to get me through:



That's me, age 7, dressed up as Florence Nightingale for a book report. Funny how these things work out, huh? Later, skaterz.

PS - Oh, speaking of "funny how these things work out"... my mom was just admitted to Hartford Hospital today, to one of two floors that I'll be working on for my clinical rotation. Hilarious, huh? Getting her leg amputated below the knee is less hilarious though.

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(Deleted comment)
wolfsavard
Jan. 18th, 2009 03:12 am (UTC)
No, you are awesome.
nurse. leo. attention whore. punk rock princess. flexitarian. space case. deltasig. browncoat. fangirl. professional bridesmaid. lover. geek. only child. dreamer. former market researcher. aerialist. uconn husky. internet addict. twentysomething. enfp/j. crazy cat lady. gryffindor. bohemian. new england gangsta. democrat. narcissist. daughter. friend.

just me.

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