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How am I supposed to handle all of this car business without him? They're apparently taking apart the whole motor to figure out what is wrong. It won't be a quick fix and it certainly doesn't sound like it'll be anything close to inexpensive either. At least I have a mechanic I can trust, but how am I supposed to know what to do? What if I have to get a new car? How am I supposed to do that without him? I can't.

How am I supposed to care about school next semester? I feel like every good grade I get is such a waste if I can't hear how proud he is of it. I know how important they are, I can't get into nursing school without them, but it's so hard for me to even feel proud about them. Yes, I'm sure wherever he is he's still proud of me but I can't hear him tell me that.

Part of me doesn't ever want to get married or have children because he won't be there for it.

Who is supposed to fight for me? How am I supposed to call my uncle and tell him that all the money in my dad's account is mine and not his, no matter what the law says? What am I supposed to do if he fights with me about it?

I feel like I have never actually been depressed, like clinically depressed, until now. I see all those symptoms on those silly little checklists... feelings of hopelessness, not getting joy in any of the things that use to make you happy, impaired concentration, sleep disturbances, etc. I feel so lethargic that it feels like I'm moving in slow motion. I'm trying so incredibly hard not to push everyone away. I'm trying even harder to keep going through the motions, to get out of bed and not give up on everything. I'm not trying hard enough because the piles of work on my desk keep mounting and mounting and I just can't make myself do anything about it.

I'm totally going to get fired. Later, skaterz.



( 13 beeps — speeeeeaaaakkkkk )
Jan. 18th, 2008 09:30 pm (UTC)

I can't imagine what you're going through right now. But if you feel depressed, don't hesitate to talk to someone about it.
Jan. 19th, 2008 05:08 am (UTC)
Thanks. *hugs back*
Jan. 18th, 2008 09:54 pm (UTC)
Jan. 19th, 2008 05:08 am (UTC)
Jan. 18th, 2008 10:25 pm (UTC)
I love you Laura - I can't imagine any of this will go away in the next couple of days, but if anyone can make it through and come out of it STRONGER and BETTER, it would be you. You are carrying your love for him everywhere you go, and that in itself, is a marvel to behold. Let me know if you ever need anything darling...
Jan. 19th, 2008 05:10 am (UTC)
Thanks, hun.
Jan. 18th, 2008 10:25 pm (UTC)

Re: the money thing: If your uncle does fight you on it, you call an attorney and say "I need some help." [I don't know what you mean by "no matter what the law says," so I don't know how strong of a case you have. If you've already hashed this out legally, I don't know what to tell you.]

If you decide you want legal help, I recommend my family's firm, with the promise that you can trust them 100% to not be smarmy, but the caveat that I have no idea what their services cost. If you want the info for the firm, email me, and I'll send it to you. The county bar association can also make referrals for you based on the type of problem (call them at (860) 525-6052).

As far as the rest goes, hon, it sounds like you really need to talk to someone. I'm not a professional, but I can listen (or read) if you just need to get it all out. If you want my phone number, just email me and ask.

Even though your dad's gone, there's still a whole lot of people who love you and are proud of you and want you to succeed. It's not the same, I know, but we're here. Just tell us how we can help you get through this -- whether you just want people to listen, whether you want advice, whether you need everyone to stop asking how you're feeling today -- let us know. We'll do it.
Jan. 19th, 2008 12:47 am (UTC)
Not to step on toes, but since you're more law oriented than I am... uh, by a lot. What it is joint bank accounts with all her dad's money. Since her uncle's name is on it, too, rights of joint tenancy and survivorship etc etc. So I know in real estate joint tenancy you can prove that part of it was rightfully the decedent's only and thus for example only that bit is part of his estate, but not sure if that applies with bank accounts and what have you.

Oh geez, does that even make sense? (I just finished a class on Estate Administration so I'm kind of a huge nerd.)
Jan. 19th, 2008 01:51 am (UTC)
Oh, I didn't know that. You are correct about joint tenancy bank accounts -- they pass immediately to the other tenant(s), just as with real property.

(And you're making perfect sense. I did Wills & Trusts last semester, which had estate planning aspects. I guess that makes me a huge nerd, too? I was hoping it was an agency type of account and not a joint tenancy.)

Laura: I'm sorry I can't offer any useful advice on the matter. :(

Jan. 19th, 2008 05:25 am (UTC)
That's okay, I appreciate the effort. And thank you for everything else. Having amazing friends to fall back on helps a lot. *hugs*
Jan. 20th, 2008 02:22 am (UTC)
Jan. 22nd, 2008 01:01 am (UTC)
Re: <3<3<3
Jan. 22nd, 2008 01:43 pm (UTC)
I just read this today or I would have tried harder to be less of a big baby this weekend. You are the best friend ever for comforting me about my little problem when you've been feeling like this. God I love you. Hang in there.
( 13 beeps — speeeeeaaaakkkkk )
nurse. leo. attention whore. punk rock princess. flexitarian. space case. deltasig. browncoat. fangirl. professional bridesmaid. lover. geek. only child. dreamer. former market researcher. aerialist. uconn husky. internet addict. twentysomething. enfp/j. crazy cat lady. gryffindor. bohemian. new england gangsta. democrat. narcissist. daughter. friend.

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