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I deny the tears in my eyes.

Sometimes I think about my dad and I can't even breathe.

I feel very manic these days, I'm either really hyper or I have like this chest crushing pain. I'm anxious or depressed. I feel like it's not that often, mainly only when I don't have anything going on and I find myself with more than ten minutes of free time to actually stop and think.

Right now I think I'm just sleep deprived (I haven't gotten more than two hours a night since Sunday) and I think I forgot to eat today, so I'm sure that's not helping matters.

Why can't I just let myself be comforted? Why am I so scared to let other people see that I am hurting? It's one thing to write a journal entry, but then in person I just shrug it off. I'm not fine. I'm not just tired. Sometimes I feel like I'm breaking.

I just... I guess I could really use a distraction right now. Please.

Comments

athena2483
Nov. 9th, 2007 01:24 pm (UTC)
I'm here too. And so are about 8,000 other people because you are clearly the most loved girl ever. You are also the strongest person I know even if you don't always believe it, but it's hard for even the strongest people to keep all their worries inside. You have a lot of great friends who will always be there to listen (or provide distraction) when you need us. *hugs*
wolfsavard
Nov. 9th, 2007 02:38 pm (UTC)
*hugs* Can't wait to see you tomorrow!
nurse. leo. attention whore. punk rock princess. flexitarian. space case. deltasig. browncoat. fangirl. professional bridesmaid. lover. geek. only child. dreamer. former market researcher. aerialist. uconn husky. internet addict. twentysomething. enfp/j. crazy cat lady. gryffindor. bohemian. new england gangsta. democrat. narcissist. daughter. friend.

just me.

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