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School's out for the summer!

That's right, I'm all done with chemistry. I got an A in the class, and therefore was excused from the final. That combined with the fact that Who Wants To Be A Superhero? starts tonight, and I'm going to see OOTP on IMAX this weekend with foreverseenstar and Gaz, and my skin is FINALLY clearing up thanks to the new and amazingly awesome Clinique acne line, and I know a very awesome guest to be coming to Dragon*Con that wasn't perviously... you would think I'd be on top of the world. But I'm not.

I keep having random bouts of rib-crushing depression and I'm not sure why. Part of me hopes that it's something more than the end of the Harry Potter series, only because it does make me feel a bit silly (and others, both inside and outside of the HP fandom, have made me feel silly) to get so worked up just over a book. The other part of me hopes that this is all it is, because then maybe it will go away sooner.

My self esteem is pretty low right now. I feel obese (I know I'm not, but I feel way bigger than I should). I am quite broke. I also realized the MbEIN program is not exactly what I thought it was. I thought I got a BSN upon completion, but all you get is a certificate that allows you to take the NCLEX-RN. But you do get direct entry into the Masters program, which I want to do. So I still feel like the best choice, but I just feel a little disappointed and duped. Other than those things, I can't think of a great reason why I should be any more depressed than I normally would be, so that's what makes me think it must be the book.

I was a freaking mess on Sunday after I'd finished the books. I think that because I was reading most of it alongside foreverseenstar I didn't really feel I could open up and sob as much as I normally would've at parts. I don't like crying in front of people. I don't feel like I got the emotional release from the book I should've, and so subsequently, all of that felt pent up and all day Sunday I felt on the verge of tears, even after I let myself have a good cry.

I've also had a few bouts of near-anxiety attacks. I haven't had a full on one, but I have the constant feeling that something is just not right. From the second I finished the Epilogue I felt that. That anxiety, for no good reason, and I hate it. And just when I think I'm over being sad about the book? I'll see the book in a store and feel as though someone is stabbing me in the heart. Pathetic, no? *sigh*

Sorry, I'm still not ready to post my thoughts about Deathly Hallows yet. (I don't know why I'm apologizing because it's not like you guys really want to read them anyway.) I'm giving it another read through, and perhaps once I'm done, I'll be able to post something coherent. I'll steal the book party pictures from foreverseenstar's camera, too, and post those soon. Alright, I'm gonna go head to MCC and see if I can't get some money back for my chem books. I promise I'll try to make my next entry a bit more cheerful. Later, skaterz.

PS - It seems like a lot of people on my flist, particularly my fellow Gryffindors, are going through some tough times right now, so I just want to throw out a big ILU to all of them. *huggles*


( 7 beeps — speeeeeaaaakkkkk )
Jul. 26th, 2007 05:42 pm (UTC)
Oh dear. Well, I don't know what to say. You're welcome to my happy pills.

Oh and I did try to put the pics on my computer and it just wasn't havin' it. Recognized the camera hardware and then did nothing. It was great. Go figure.
Jul. 26th, 2007 06:11 pm (UTC)
Give them to me tonight and I'll put them on with mine.
Jul. 26th, 2007 05:48 pm (UTC)
Maybe you're just sad because you haven't seen me in a couple weeks ..j/k :)
In all seriousness, you are wonderful, and quite gorgeous ;)...Jesse and I have spent the week reading the Harry Potters together, we just bought the last one this morning, so I may be in your shoes by sometime tomorrow afternoon!
Can't wait to see you soon...many hugs!
Jul. 26th, 2007 06:57 pm (UTC)
you are sad b/c you miss Pittsburgh :-P

Jul. 30th, 2007 06:05 pm (UTC)
That must be it. :P So do you have summers off or do you have to work?
Jul. 30th, 2007 02:40 pm (UTC)
I would like to say that my dancing partner this weekend was looking quite svelte.

And it seriously sucks that there are no more HP books coming out. But you never know, she may decide to write some more, it's not a 100% done deal... and if not we'll just need to find some new material!

Congrats on your A - that is amazing!
Jul. 30th, 2007 06:04 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I am on the yogurt and Luna bar diet until the end of August. lol

I am excited that JKR keeps answering questions about things that she never covered, and silly little details. I am way excited for the encyclopedia in the very distant future, too.
( 7 beeps — speeeeeaaaakkkkk )
nurse. leo. attention whore. punk rock princess. flexitarian. space case. deltasig. browncoat. fangirl. professional bridesmaid. lover. geek. only child. dreamer. former market researcher. aerialist. uconn husky. internet addict. twentysomething. enfp/j. crazy cat lady. gryffindor. bohemian. new england gangsta. democrat. narcissist. daughter. friend.

just me.

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