I have had tons of time to study for my muscle quiz tomorrow and I haven't. I've been writing a stupid fanfic that NO ONE cares about or even understands, aside from maybe foreverseenstar. I haven't even done work at work because I've been writing that fic instead. It's so incredibly stupid and it makes me want to punch myself in the face.
And even now, what am I not doing? Studying for the fucking quiz. I'm whining about how pissed I am at myself for not having been studying.
My class got canceled on Monday and so I had this whole unexpected evening free. (I got my exam back though. I got a 97. \o/ Of course that's because I actually studied for that one.) You'd think I would've used it for studying, but instead I stayed up until 4AM to write the stupid thing. Oh, and then I stayed up until 5AM reading Harry Potter. And yes, my cat still woke me up at 6AM.
So yeah... the past 48 hours? I've been writing a stupid story. Not studying. Not working at work. Not reading a book that I really want to finish. Not sleeping. I haven't really been eating either. I keep forgetting. Which is probably why I dropped another 1.5 lbs. Which I would be excited about except it's totally just going to come right back since I lost it by starving myself. (Unintentionally. I am not anorexic, just absent minded.)
But fuckingfuckfuckFUCK. I am in no goddamn mood to learn 45 muscles, their insertions, origins, and functions. I am like not really even caring what my grade is on it because I am rocking such a strong A in the class right now. I know... worst attitude to have ever. My biggest concern is telling my dad that I got a bad grade, and I got that bad grade because I didn't study hard enough, even though I promised him I would.
My dad, by the way, who probably has another tumor, this time in his arm. It's been paining him for a while so he went in for a bone scan last week. Probably won't have results for another week and half, but I have very little faith that it's not another tumor. This is the same thing that happened to his leg. So another tumor will probably mean more chemo/radiation/evil drugs that suck the life out of him 10x faster than the cancer ever would. So, yeah. Fuck that.
Fuck everything. I am so fucking worthless. I need to go study if it kills me. Later, skaterz.
PS - I really hate myself for bitching and moaning when 32 innocent people lost their lives because of some selfish fuckedup asshole with a gun and yet another ineffective, incompetent college administrative system. So fuck me for not having any kind of perspective.
PPS - AND FUCK YOU!!! STUPID FUCKING DRAG RACER!!! I AM GOING TO TAKE A FUCKING LOUISVILLE SLUGGER TO YOUR GHETTO FUCKING KIA AND SLASH YOUR FUCKING TIRES.
PPS - FOR SERIOUS, PEOPLE! Finish up my freakin' movie meme. I swears...they aren't that hard!