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I've been okay with the idea of being single for quite some time now. I don't need to be in a relationship. I don't need to be in one to be happy, and certainly not to be sane. Actually, not being in one will probably only make me more sane once school starts because I'm going to be so incredibly busy. But I definitely miss it. I miss having someone who loves me, and a lot of things have a reminded me of that lately from watching movies to seeing my friends in loving relationships. That's why I was so happy on my birthday, to hear that people actually did love me and to have them show it. I loved that more than turning 21 or all the presents or money or anything. I have so much love in my life from my friends, but I just miss the love that comes with a relationship. There's nothing that can really fill the void of having someone there who would do anything for you, who is content to spend an entire evening just holding you, who will be there for you no matter what you need with no questions asked. I miss that so much and when I'm reminded of how much I miss it, that's when I'm truly lonely. I wish I still had that kind of love in my life. I wish a boy loved me, preferably one that I love back. I wish Jeff and I got along when we're apart. I wish I didn't want to be loved so badly and I wish I didn't need to be so blatantly reminded of the fact that I am all the time. I just miss that closeness and never have to worry about ever being alone in the world, that's all. Crap... it's late, and I was exhausted earlier today and I have a big night ahead of me and have to get up early for work in the morning. I guess that means I should try and not think about this and get a few hours of sleep. Later, skaterz.


nurse. leo. attention whore. punk rock princess. flexitarian. space case. deltasig. browncoat. fangirl. professional bridesmaid. lover. geek. only child. dreamer. former market researcher. aerialist. uconn husky. internet addict. twentysomething. enfp/j. crazy cat lady. gryffindor. bohemian. new england gangsta. democrat. narcissist. daughter. friend.

just me.

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November 2012


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