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I will find a way to you if it kills me.

I had the worst insomnia last night. Like seriously, I laid in bed for over an hour and couldn't get to sleep. There was just too much racing around in my mind. I couldn't quiet it down. I'm feeling overwhelmed which is sort of ironic considering DSP is done and my online class doesn't even start to next week. But I have all these projects I want to get done, and I feel like even though I've kind of had all the time in the world the past couple weeks, I've gotten so little done.

I just have way more stress than I think I should be having. I think I'm stressing out a lot over things that aren't under my control, like worrying about others, and the economy, and even the General Election is starting to scare me. It might be making me just not want to do anything. Or maybe it's just making me crazy.

Do you ever worry that you might be one of those crazy people? One of those genuinely batshit, has lost all sense of reality people? I really worry sometimes that I might be turning into one.

I think I need to start breaking up my epic list of things to do (both in my head and at thenext150days) and start making myself smaller, daily to-do lists. I started using www.hiveminder.com at daydreamer's suggestion, but it's sort of confusing. But having things broken down might help with being overwhelmed. I don't think it will help with becoming batshit, but you never know.

Also, no TV next week. All the TV does is suck productivity from me and waste my life. LOST's season finale is tonight and after that I don't give a fuck about anything else on TV. (Though I kind of want to watch that Celebrity Circus... *shifty eyes*) So aside from my morning Today Show, no TV. No DVDs. No watching shit on iTunes. Just... productivity.

I need to go buy cat food before my cat starts ripping open boxes from our pantry. Later, skaterz.

Comments

( 10 beeps — speeeeeaaaakkkkk )
clarkdreams
May. 29th, 2008 06:29 pm (UTC)
If you are batshit - I should be certifiable. Do you think they'll still let us adopt Asian babies if we're crazy?
Zomg - can not WAIT for LOST. Jesse's even coming home from the library 2 hours early so we can watch it together!
wolfsavard
May. 29th, 2008 08:09 pm (UTC)
Well, so far I'm pretty good at least pretending to have a grip on reality.
foreverseenstar
May. 29th, 2008 06:48 pm (UTC)
Bet I get home and Lola's destroyed things... now that she's got a taste for angel food cake.

Also, Celebrity Circus! \o/ Don't forget Doctor Who :-) and SGA in July (with Jewel as a regular!)
wolfsavard
May. 29th, 2008 08:11 pm (UTC)
TV = EVIL

And seriously, I won't be surprised if she did destroy the apartment. She had half her regular breakfast this morning.
betta329
May. 30th, 2008 06:16 am (UTC)
I totally think I am one of those loony people sometimes. I think way too much about everything. Glad to know I am not the only one in the world who is self-conscious about their thoughts. hehe
wolfsavard
May. 30th, 2008 01:42 pm (UTC)
Yes, at least we're not alone. Crazy loves company. :)
firynze
May. 30th, 2008 07:53 pm (UTC)
...you sound so much like me.

So much.

*snugs you*

One thing I've found that really helps me is making lists. Not of what needs to be done, although I am the QUEEN of itemized to-do lists, but of what I have done. I realised after making an LJ post one day whinging about how little I'd gotten done that, uhm, actually, I did quite a lot. So I took to writing Accomplishment Lists at the end of each day.

If I ever have a moment where I feel like a total and complete bum, like a lazy slob and a worthless failure, I go back and look at the lists. And notice that most days, I've gotten a lot done even if I ALSO sat on my ass and crocheted while watching telly for an hour. It's amazing to look at things written down and checked off, and to realise that you're not as lazy as you think.
wolfsavard
May. 30th, 2008 07:56 pm (UTC)
That's actually a really excellent idea. Maybe if I saw that I'm not as lazy as I thought, I might feel better about myself, which would make me more motivated and less overwhelmed. I'm definitely going to keep this in mind!
firynze
May. 30th, 2008 08:08 pm (UTC)
It's really working well for me. I have always thought of myself as a lazy bitch, especially because I've been CALLED such many a time, and it took a few friends beating me over the head to realise that what I might think of as a "lazy day" is anything but.

Doing the dishes, doing the laundry, taking care of the Wee Beasties, and making dinner is a pretty full evening. Throw in some crocheting, and that's not half bad. So it's okay that the laundry was only washed and dried, not put away just yet ... because much was accomplished still!

And it IS easier to get more done when you start realising that you ARE doing things. I mean, I still haven't finished my writing projects or some of my other major projects ... but I've made good progress on one, and my house is cleaner than it's been in awhile. And, perhaps most importantly, I've been learning to take downtime and social time to keep myself from going batshit. So yeah...
(Deleted comment)
wolfsavard
Jun. 3rd, 2008 02:36 pm (UTC)
My friend and I are both having that problem recently... we spend too much time worrying about others. About things we have no control over, too, really.

This week has been better so far... I'm trying to prioritize me and get some of the clutter out of my life. So maybe there will be less mental clutter, too...
( 10 beeps — speeeeeaaaakkkkk )
nurse. leo. attention whore. punk rock princess. flexitarian. space case. deltasig. browncoat. fangirl. professional bridesmaid. lover. geek. only child. dreamer. former market researcher. aerialist. uconn husky. internet addict. twentysomething. enfp/j. crazy cat lady. gryffindor. bohemian. new england gangsta. democrat. narcissist. daughter. friend.

just me.

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