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I can't even breathe. Everything has just blown up and I finally see what a fool I am. The beauty of it is that I still fucking love him so much. I have wasted so much of my time. SO FUCKING MUCH OF MY TIME. And energy. And LOVE. WASTED SO MUCH OF ALL OF ME. And I am a fool. I can't stop crying. I really just CAN'T. And my chest hurts so much that it's hard to breathe, like breathing is too much work. Like I wouldn't so much mind if I just didn't anymore. And I know that there are some people that really wouldn't bat an eyelash if I stopped. I just wished that I was not such a fucking fool and that I could stop crying. I don't think I've ever been this hurt before.


...try to get some rest now. Sleep's not coming easy for a while...

Comments

( 3 beeps — speeeeeaaaakkkkk )
tinkerbella610
Mar. 26th, 2004 08:03 am (UTC)
"kiss"
you don't understand how much I love you. Keep being the Laura that you are, and we'll get through this together. He doesn't deserve you... at all. You deserve you... especially since you're wonderful. "kiss"
nyrclooch
Mar. 26th, 2004 02:53 pm (UTC)
But...
There are so many people that would be crying even more than you are if you did stop breathing... never forget that!
(Anonymous)
Apr. 7th, 2004 10:28 pm (UTC)
i miss ya!
Laura--

You mean so much to me, more than you'll every know. I've appreciated every moment that we've ever been able to spend together, and I'm grateful for that. Although we havent been able to spend as much time together as we did at SWHS, I'm glad that we've been able to sustain this relationship we've had throughout our college years, me being at Maryland and all. When I read your journal entries, all I hope is that you'll eventually realize all that you have here in SW and at UCONN. You mean so much to so many people, and you NEED to know that. I cant wait to see you over the summer. Keep being the kindest, most sincere and passionate person i've ever met. Love ya ~ Chase :-)

(Go Terps?? Nah, GO UCONN!!! YAH! :-D )
( 3 beeps — speeeeeaaaakkkkk )
nurse. leo. attention whore. punk rock princess. flexitarian. space case. deltasig. browncoat. fangirl. professional bridesmaid. lover. geek. only child. dreamer. former market researcher. aerialist. uconn husky. internet addict. twentysomething. enfp/j. crazy cat lady. gryffindor. bohemian. new england gangsta. democrat. narcissist. daughter. friend.

just me.

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